A Brief Guide to Soft Packing

The first time I bought a packer was, like many of my first times relating to my gender, done by asking favours from friends who had credit cards and could therefore buy things on the internet on my behalf. I was 16 and it was the summer after my GCSEs ended, and I, feeling newly mature and brave, got my then friend, and later partner, to buy me an XS Mr Limpy from Lovehoney.

I, being a sixteen year old, forgot to get anything to pack with, and after just shoving it in my boxers for a while, made a really terrible homemade harness from an old pair of boxers. My stitches were terrible and came apart, and within a few months I resorted to safety pins to keep together.

Since then, I have, thankfully moved on to actual packer harnesses, making stops at ‘pinning a sock to my boxers’ and ‘using a jock strap’. And along with actually using proper means to hold my dick, I’ve experimented with dicks of different shapes, different sizes, different materials, and even dicks with different homemade piercings.

Some people do pack as an erotic experience, but it’s never been like that for me. For me, it’s a necessity to deal with dysphoria, and I pack every day. It doesn’t make much difference in if I pass or not, and truth be told I was packing long before I could have even hoped to pass, but it feels incredibly validating. Having a bulge to show off and not worrying about being outed in situations where dicks are being shown- either on purpose or accidentally- makes those spaces accessible to me. With a packer, walking, sitting, or holding myself in more male ways becomes easier, and feels more natural. I sit with my legs apart naturally now, after years of training myself to do it, but feeling my cock between my legs would have made the process of relearning my body much easier and quicker.

There’s also another reason I personally pack, and it’s not a nice one. I’ve been groped by a stranger in a men’s bathroom when I wasn’t packing, and this incident led to me being punched in the face.

My thoughts on packing and my rating of packers aren’t primarily based on any kind of erotic experiences, or even really any kind of fun experience. If you’re looking for information about packers focused on that, I’m probably not what you’re looking for. However, I do also judge packers based on how fun they are to wear during fun making-out/groping sessions.

This is not intended as and is not a collection of everything there is to know about soft packing. Instead it is a quick overview of some materials, models, and some brief advice on sizing, harnesses, and positioning.

Materials:

Packers generally come in one of two materials- silicone or elastomers. Because of the nature of packers- not necessarily designed for penetration- I’m more inclined to forgive them for not being boilable to sanitise than most toys. Generally, they don’t contain phthalates at the least.

Elastomer packers tend to be more like the actual consistency of a flaccid penis, while silicone packers are harder, and can be sanitised. People who have sensitive skin might find it worth looking into silicone packers, as silicone is hypoallergenic.

The thing I do like about silicone include its weight. That, and the fact that it keeps heat help me with dysphoria a lot. However, the softer feel of elastomer packers is better for me as an everyday packer, as having a realistic bulge is my main goal with packing.

Packer Models:

The classic/usual starter packer that every transmasculine person I know started with is the Mr Limpy. It’s known by a few different names (Soft Pack, Packy, and Mister Softie among them) and is manufactured by Fleshlight.

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The Mr Limpy/Soft Pack/ Packy/ Mister Softie

This was my first packer, and I found it amazing at the time, but having had more experience since with higher end packers, I can now see the limitations of this packer. The Mr Limpy comes in four sizes, but generally I’ve only known people to do daily packing with the smaller of the two sizes. The material does get worn down pretty quickly, but that’s to be expected given the price point, and the balls are flat backed.

 

It’s a good place to start with experimenting with packing, in my opinion, and as a bonus, the Mr Limpy is a great packer to make into an STP device, or to customise with piercings. Generally, it won’t last as long as silicone, but I’ve actually still got my first packer and it’s still usable, and I’ve heard of them lasting up to a decade.

I’ve never used the Masho personally, but from what I hear, it’s essentially the same as the extra-small My Limpy in both function and price point, but has round balls. I currently don’t know of any suppliers based in the UK (if you do, please tell me), so it’s generally less accessible than the Mr Limpy.

The New York Toy Collective does some great silicone packers in the form of the Archer and Pierre packers. It’s not something I’m interested in at all, but the Pierre is the only uncircumcised packer I know of on the market. Both are just over 5 inches in length. For those based in the UK, UberKinky currently sell the Pierre, but not the Archer.

There are many, many options for packers, some bordering on prosthetic quality, if not qualifying as prosthetics in their own right. One thing to bear in mind is that colour options on non-custom packers do tend to be quite limited, mostly to two or three colours. These limits, and the often food based names(1) really aren’t great, and that’s something I’d really like the industry to improve upon.

Sizing:

One size packers are generally around 4-5 inches in length, but when they come in multiple options, the sizes tend to be based on erect sizes rather than flaccid sizes. Taking the Mr Limpy as an example, the smallest size of 3.5 inches is about average.

When it comes to cis male penises, flaccid penises are a lot smaller than you would expect. A review of several studies found the average flaccid length to be 3.5–3.9 inches (9–10 cm).

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One study’s distribution of average penis sizes

Having a very large packer doesn’t generally lend itself to a realistic looking bulge, or at the very least creates something that looks like an erection, but if you’re looking to pack in private that might not matter to you. That’s not to say smaller packers are always best and, personally, my most often worn packer borders on 6 inches. I enjoy larger sizes because I am a terrible example of masculinity and like to feel proud of having a big dick. Call it overcompensation and internalised toxic masculinity.

Harnesses:

There are many, many ways to wear a packer, and many of them are easily DIY-able if you’re into that. I made my first packer harness by taking the waistband of an old pair of boxer, and sewing it to a loop (actually made from a weird leg cord part of the boxers, but elastic would work) which the shaft could be poked through. I’ve also sewn pouches into boxers, safety pinned socks to my underwear, and used packing pouches.

Brief style harnesses are pretty popular, but to be honest I’ve always found them way too expensive to justify using given I pack every day. Also, I actually quite like the boxers I have and would like to be able to wear them. Normally in this particular style, the packer hangs outside the garment. It’s a good style for hard packing, but I really wouldn’t recommend it for everyday soft packing. Also, while cheap in general for harnesses, I personally cannot and have never been able to justify the cost of brief harnesses as everyday underwear, and I doubt most people could.

Sock harnesses fit around the waistband of underwear. I’m personally not fond of this style, because it makes me feel more distant from my cock and therefore defeats the purpose of of packing.

It’s pretty easy to DIY a simple packing harness with elastic and sometimes an o ring. Instructions for one model can be found here.

The harness I personally use most is this one from a shop called Puregender. It’s pretty basic, but does mean you can change your underwear without getting into the level of cost a week’s worth of RodeoH harnesses would be. I also have a packing harness from OrigamiCustoms made from bamboo fabric. It’s better for STP devices, given the way it hangs from the body, but is very comfortable, and I would recommend it.

Other tips:

In terms of placement, for a realistic positioning, the base of the shaft should hang right over where your cock* is. I know that the small and medium size Mr Limpy has a little dent in the back of the base where the cock should fit, so that helps with positioning. Also, it means that as my cock has grown on T, I get actual sensation from that packer being rubbed.

Remember, cis men’s dicks hang at different angles and in different positions. Some dicks are lefties, some are righties, some hang straight down. If you can’t fit the packer into your pants comfortably, try a different angle.

 


(1) Describing the skin tones of people of colour, particularly those with dark skin, is often associated with fetishisation and objectification.

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